Breathers: A Zombie's Lament

S.G. Browne

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Breathers: A Zombie's Lament

Breathers A Zombie s Lament Meet Andy Warner a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie Resented by his parents abandoned by his friends and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human Andy is having a

  • Title: Breathers: A Zombie's Lament
  • Author: S.G. Browne
  • ISBN: null
  • Page: 245
  • Format: Kindle Edition
  • Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suiMeet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the formaldehyde in cosmetic products, and Jerry, a twenty one year old car crash victim with an exposed brain and a penchant for Renaissance pornography When the group meets a rogue zombie who teaches them the joys of human flesh, things start to get messy, and Andy embarks on a journey of self discovery that will take him from his casket, to the SPCA, to a media driven class action lawsuit on behalf of the rights of zombies everywhere.Darkly funny, surprisingly touching, and gory enough to satisfy even the most discerning reader, Breathers is a romantic zombie comedy rom zom com, for short that will leave you laughing, squirming, and clamoring for .

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      Published :2019-01-05T00:15:30+00:00

    One thought on “Breathers: A Zombie's Lament

    1. karen on said:

      this book has one of the best titles and covers ive seen all year, so i had to buy it. and im glad it was so much fun, because im such a sucker for pretty covers that sometimes i get burned. but not this time! you can buy this and be assured that it will be funny and thoughtful and moving and undead. and if you dont like it, just rip the cover off and frame it, i dont care.

    2. Kemper on said:

      I don't think I'll be eating ribs in any barbecue joints in the near future after reading this.Andy was killed in a car wreck along with his wife. But like a small percentage of the population, he reanimates as a decaying zombie. He quickly learns that he has no civil rights. He has to live in his parent's wine cellar, and he isn't allowed to see or contact his daughter. It's against the law for him to do simple things like logging on to the Internet or go to the movies. He's harrassed and pelte [...]

    3. Nicholas Karpuk on said:

      Let me flip to a random page of "Breathers" and see how long it takes me to find a lame joke.Here we go, "If you've never been in a room full of zombies eating freshly cooked pieces of human flesh, then you probably wouldn't understand."That took four flips, and I was having bad luck.That phrase comes up a lot, the whole, "Then you probably wouldn't understand." It's one of the many touches in the book lifted pretty shamelessly from Chuck Palahniuk. I think Chuck Palahniuk has inspired about as [...]

    4. ServiusHeiner on said:

      Pretty good, it kind of lost it's luster towards the end. If you have never been worried about how many maggots are in your socks then you probably wouldn't understand.

    5. Mandie on said:

      zombies need love toowe deserve equalityfrat boys taste yummyIf you havent't read S.G. Browne's hilarious and freaky book "Breathers: A Zombie's Lament", then you probably wouldn't understand.

    6. Jasmine on said:

      My fifth star is broken this year. I know this is weird since historically I've been fast and loose with high ratings, but this deficiency in me should not be taken as a reflection of the book. I wrote a good portion of this review yesterday when I wasn’t actually finished with the book which does lead to the positive that there shouldn’t be any spoilers at least not any end spoilers… I tried really hard to not have any middle spoilers either but we’ll see. I have a lot of live concerts [...]

    7. AlcoholBooksCinema on said:

      If you've not read this hilarious and eccentric book, then you probably wouldn't understand what I'm going to say.- You will like this book, unless, of course, you're a vegetarian.- This is very artistic, almost spiritual. In a necrophilia kind of way.- If a zombie could blush, he/she'd be a third-degree sunburn.- Dumb-Fuck Hollywood directors who make witless zombie movies is why contraception should be taught in schools.- I raise my right hand and extend my thumb like Roger Ebert and say,"Brin [...]

    8. CarolynStorer on said:

      "Breathers" is a black comedy combined with horror and a little romance and lots of icky moments. We follow Andy, a newly risen zombie and the other members of his support group.Zombies in "Breathers" are a little different, in fact the concept is quite original to me and was fun to read. Not all people who die become zombies, but when the selected few do rise as the undead they are ridiculed by society and despised by their families, who have to take them home again. The one aspect of the novel [...]

    9. Vanessa on said:

      A cute story that finds you cheering the zombies on. I picked this up becuase the cover was fantastic and who doesn't want to read about zombie loving?

    10. Stephanie *Very Stable Genius* on said:

      Poor Andy. He dies in a car crash and wakes up a zombie. In this world this is apparently common place. When you do wake up a zombie, (where everything about you is the same, except for the fact you're kind of decaying) everyone who really loved you right before your death, suddenly hates your guts.if you still have them that is. Zombies are persecuted, harassed and are given no rights at all. This bothered me a little bit, it didn't ring true.Yes, this is a book about zombies, not really based [...]

    11. Tressa on said:

      For me Breathers starts off great, but loses steam at the end. I laughed a lot through the first 1/3 of the book, chuckled in the middle, but the laughs were harder to come by when it turned into a zombie civil rights story. I also thought the unsatisfying ending was a convenient way to handle the first zombie pregnancy, something I'm sure all we readers were waiting to see how it played out. But even so, it's a unique take on the zombie story and I'm glad Browne tackled it. I knew going in that [...]

    12. Maicie on said:

      Second reading:(I'm rereading this a year later for a group read. I love this book.)Still love it, maybe more, after second reading. But "If you've never been dismembered or crushed or allowed to slowly disentegrate until you turn into chicken soup, then probably wouldn't understand (page 265).Another favorite quote:Re: Jerry's interpretation of the Sistine Chapel: "It's very artistic, almost spiritual. In a tits and ass kind of way."First reading: April 2010Zombies need human flesh to stay aliv [...]

    13. Jennifer Wardrip on said:

      BREATHERS was an impulse buy, recommended when I purchased a separate zombie anthology. I don't usually give in to impulse buys (I have too many must-haves on my reading list as it is), but I'm so glad I decided to give into this one! This book has it all - the blood and gore of typical zombie fare, but also romance (who wouldn't love a twenty-something hottie, even with the stitches at her wrists and throat, who happens to eat lipstick like it was going out of style), humor (I'm sorry, but bre [...]

    14. Susie DelMa on said:

      definitiv anders als erwartet aber mir hat es gefallen!! ❤❤❤❤

    15. Hybrid Creature (devours books instead of brains) on said:

      “Of course, she screamed when I tried to hug her and she nearly vomited after I sneezed and a piece of my brain came out of my nose, but it's what passes for quality time around here lately.”Andy woke up from a fatal car crash a zombie, shambling down the road, confused about where he was while being screamed at and pelted with fruit by people walking down the street. In this world, zombies live among the breathing as secondary citizens. They have no rights, they're not allowed to do things [...]

    16. Burt on said:

      Wow, here's a book that's not afraid to ask if it's really necrophilia if both people involved are already dead.The book covers the plight of Andy, a recently risen zombie living near Santa Cruz, California. As one of the undead - who have been made public in the last fifty or so years - Andy is in a predicament. As a dead man, he has no civil rights. He cannot go out in public, he has to watch out for animal control (who hold jurisdiction over policing the dead), and he must bear the brunt of t [...]

    17. Lilyan on said:

      Well! This was something! A coming of age story of a 39 year old Zombie! This was my first Zombie book, so I'm not sure how the others are, but this took the Zombie's side, and showed us their point of view. In Breathers, our main character, Andy, has just recently reanimated (Come back to life after dying as a Zombie)and he tells the story of how Zombies are treated even worse than cockroaches, I felt so bad for him, I actually felt for the Zombies, and got annoyed at the Breathers (Humans).We [...]

    18. Mark on said:

      For an impulse purchase in Dallas when none of my top picks were available, I have to say that "Breathers" did not disappoint. The book is downright hilarious. S.G. Browne does a great job of giving the zombie a "softer-side" that has nothing to do with being able to show each other their brains or finger open wounds. Macabre to the core, it was surprising how human Browne made the zombies feel. In fact, as the book came to a close, I found myself rooting for Andy and his band of undead friends [...]

    19. Morgue Anne on said:

      If you've never had a masturbatory fantasy about what would happen if Chuck Palahniuk and Alan Ball had a zombie love child, then you probably wouldn't understand. No, seriously. Read 'Rant' while watching 'TrueBlood', and you have 'Breathers: A Zombie's Lament'. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I LOVE those two things, and I think the world needs more literature that falls in that space. True, there's no undead fight club or (un)dead models slouched over a dentist chair, but I like to think [...]

    20. Misty on said:

      I was hoping for some funny slapstick when I picked this up (which I got), but it's so much more than that.  Breathers is a satire lampooning prejudice and civil rights, starring everyman Andy, who wakes up to realize he's dead and unwanted by the world.  Browne creates a zombie that makes sense to me: it's not needlessly shuffling and moaning for brains, it's just a normal guy (or gal) who just didn't die after they, well, died, and now are dealing with the social ramifications of not doing w [...]

    21. Greta is Erikasbuddy on said:

      What happens when you die? Well, I assume that you see a light and go one way or the other. RIght? The world goes black and you sleep forever? You get buried? Maybe burned? People mourn for you?Well, what happens if you are placed in your lovely casket with a fabulous satin bedding and all of the sudden you wake up?Well, in my opinion there are tons of screams, some might pass out, and you're sitting there wondering why on earth you are in your Sunday Best.This is what Breathers is about. The Zo [...]

    22. Beth on said:

      In this self-proclaimed "zom-rom-com" the undead are the sympathetic characters. Victims of trauma are unexpectedly and unexplainably becoming "reanimated." The zombies, all at different stages of acceptance, ability and decomposition, are outcasts of society. Their second class citizen treatment ranges from harassment (assault and limb-stealing) to SPCA imprisonment for curfew violations, with termination imminent if a human family member, or Breather, doesn't bail them out. Some cope by meetin [...]

    23. Helene Papageorge on said:

      OK. ATTENTION ALL YOU SWINGING SINGLE EXISTENTIALISTS LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME AND A LIGHT BOOK FOR CONVERSATION AT PARTIES WITHOUT ALIENATING ALMOST EVERYBODY EXCEPT YOU AND THE PUNCHBOWL, WELL, THAT MESSIAH OF NOVELS HAS ARRIVED. This is the most original accessible rom-com-zom novel to ever appear a la Chuck Palhinuk--sorry I still haven't learned to spell his name. The novel is set in the present: post 9/11 America but just before Bear Stearns belies up. There are 3 major characters: Andy, Je [...]

    24. Harpal on said:

      I actually really enjoyed a lot of things about this book. The humour was intensely dry and morbid, which is awesome. And I mean, the plot is pure gold. Man becomes zombie, falls in love with other zombie, gets involved with a rogue zombie who eats human flesh, hilarity ensues. It did have some vaguely serious story structure problems though. The first half was amazing, but the second half kinda floundered all over the place, with tone issues and random shit happening and what not. I do believe [...]

    25. Rebecca McNutt on said:

      I'm usually not such a big fan of zombie books, but Breathers takes two of the most mainstream genres in recent culture, dystopian and zombie fiction, and instead of presenting the typical novel of today, it goes against the grain and tries to at least bring a little comedy into two normally solemn and grim genres of books.

    26. willaful on said:

      I happened to open this to some offensive, supposed humor about special needs kids. A bit more skimming confirmed general ickiness, so out it went. Too bad, because I know the area it's set in and would have been interested in reading it just for the local color.

    27. melydia on said:

      A man wakes up to discover his parents in the refrigerator. Turns out this man is also a zombie. It's complicated. And kind of ridiculous. Andy is part of Undead Anonymous, a support group for the recently undeceased in a world where zombies are spat on and abused by the living, called Breathers. Do you have to be alive to have friends, get basic freedoms, fall in love? Andy intends to find out. If you are squeamish about decomposing flesh described in great detail, well, you might want to skip [...]

    28. Cel Kila on said:

      [3.5/5]Imaginez un zombie, le zombie type. Vous voyez ? Celui qui marche lentement, les bras en avant, obnubilé par l'envie de vous bouffer, qui pousse des cris grogne sans raison. C'est bon ? Vous l'avez ? Et bien oubliez le. C'est tout ce qu'Andy n'est pas (mis à part peut être pour les grognements, mais ça, ce n'est pas dû à sa condition). Andy est un zombie qui vit en reclus dans la cave à vin de ses parents, depuis qu'un accident de voiture a décimé sa famille, et qu'il s'est réve [...]

    29. Candace Wynell McHann on said:

      A zombie point of view story where the zombies are getting “better”? I am sensing a trend…“Meet Andy Warner, a recently deceased everyman and newly minted zombie. Resented by his parents, abandoned by his friends, and reviled by a society that no longer considers him human, Andy is having a bit of trouble adjusting to his new existence. But all that changes when he goes to an Undead Anonymous meeting and finds kindred souls in Rita, an impossibly sexy recent suicide with a taste for the [...]

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